Tuesday, June 24, 2003

Masahista Retires

This will be my last entry. Thank you to all who read (whether voluntary or mandatory) my ramblings. It's time for me to move on, search the Net for more fertile soil. Meaning: a new site for a new blog.

And brand new ways to annoy hapless readers!

So adios!


Tuesday, June 17, 2003

I'm tactile-defensive. So sue me!

I'm tactile defensive. I hate it when people touch me unnecessarily, whether intentional or not...but especially when it's intentional. A wayward hand on my shoulder or arm, an out-of-nowhere touch of my head, a hand on my back (or my bad strap) when I'm walking... this infuriates me!

But nothing makes my blood boil more than touchy passengers in public transportation.

Encounter number one: sa pregnant woman sa front seat ng FX. Right, so maybe she's huge. She has to keep her knees apart to cushion her stomach and to keep her baby from getting squashed. Granted. Pero she has no right to bitch at me just because she's fucking pregnant! (Hey! That's a pseudo-oxymoron!) Okay na sana that she asked me to move over a bit (hello, a few inches more and I'd be side-to-side with the driver!) in a not-so-nice (read: RUDE) way. But when I told her, "Nakadikit na ako sa driver. Pwede namang sabihin ng maayos, diba?" sinabi ba naman niya, "Buntis ako ha. Wag mo kong i-agrabyado" (or sumthing like that...you know me. I'm not very good with "deep" Tagalog words. Ehehehe...) That was it. English mode switched on and bitch-back sequence was activated. I replied, "Well, I'm having PMS so I have every right to bitch right back at you as much as you have the righ to bitch at me."

Damn...ang sakit na nga ng ulo ko kanina (from lack of sleep or pseudo-morning sickness...which I shall explain later...I have no idea) at ang traffic...and some whale of a woman bites! Argh...

Anyway, that was n-o-t-h-i-n-g compared to what I had to endure on a jeep back to my house. I really hate jeepneys because they're so crowded. And making matters worse are passengers who slouch, sit sideways and LEAN on their fellow passengers.

Of all those passengers, it is dirty maniacs that infuriate me most. Second to that: smelly, slimy, stinky, slouching public elementary kids. Okay, I have nothing against public elementary school kids. I have nothing against public schools, either. Heck, I have nothing against elementary kids in general. But my sisters passed through elementary (and so did my brother) in a private school. But I don't think the activities differ from those of a public school's. Kids play, rough-house and horse around. But never did my sibs come home smelling like...like... sun, fermented sweat, undefined salt and whatever else they came in contact with.

Back to this elementary boy. I have nothing against him. It wasn't just his smell (though, olfactory-defensive din ako), I could easily have turned my face upwind or covered my face. It was his smelly, stinky, slimy skin pressed against mine. It would have been understandable if the jeep was crowded and we were side-to-side. But No! This little boy was practically LYING against my side. His whole sweaty back pressed against my side, his naked smelly thigh pressed against my pants...and his stinky hair right under my nose. All this in a very un-crwoded jeep! Hello! And his mom didn't even do a thing about it.

Ginawa ko na lahat malayo lang ako sa kanya, I moved forward, moved to the side but he was still there, matching each of my maneuvers with another of his own. Finally, totally infuriated (and feeling another attack of nausea...which started way way before the jeep ride, by the way), I transferred to the opposite seat. Which was not an easy task as I had with me a jacket, a backpack and a bag of groceries.

I swear, this kids ought to be taught to at least wipe their sweat when they come out of the school!

Right, I know, I know. If I'm so tactile defensive (and bitchy), why don't I get a car and drive myself wherever it is I wish to go! Sure, I'd do that. But let me remind you that this is my blog and I can write whatever the hell I want.

So sue me!

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: I found the Diesel sneakers that look like the ones on Angel Face's feet! Although hindi niya masyadong kamukha yung nakita ko before sa People are People. But they are the ONE! It's the pair I've been seaching for all this time (about a week? Hehehe...)

Disclaimer: It is not my intention to diss any fellow human being, no matter how odoriferous or rude. I lacked sleep, had nausea the whole day, had a boring lecture in class, almost got into a fight with a classmate, and got stuck in traffic. I just had a bad day.

Besides, it's my blog. You hate dissin'? Don't keep on readin'

Shet, ang corny!
My Disorganized Thoughts: "If the Matrix is real..." and other disjointed musings

I was late for class today but I didn't know it. Pao neglected to inform me that our class starts at 7am rather than the usual 8am.

The weather was a bitch and I would have been soaked to the bone had I not ridden with my friend Joanna (and sort of shared her umbrella). I sloshed thru flood and slimy water flooded my rubber shoes. God knows what kind of animal (and human) shit floats in it, not to mention bacteria for Leptospirosis, LBM and Ameobiasis and whatever bacterium frolicks in that gunk!

And I entered that freaking room at 8am on the dot, soaking wet and pissed off... and came face to face with a dumbfounded lecturer and surprised classmates. Why they were all surprised, I have no idea. Was it because I hardly ever came to class (and therefore my presence was a miracle) or was it because I even bothered to come at a late hour or was it because I was wearing another one of my usual outfits? They seem pretty normal to me, but for some unfathomable reason, they shock the socks off my classmates. Go figure. Or maybe natakot lang sila sa pagmumukha ko. Harharhar, hindi malayo!

Anyway, I got a seat wherein I could hardly see the board so I got bored and my thoughts drifted. To where? Who cares! Basta it drifted! Hehehe...

So, if the Matrix were real, I began to pick at it (like my "Seventh Week Itch" thing). Humans as we know ourselves are just electronic/neuronal-perceptual images in this thing called the Matrix. The Agents are programs that could infiltrate the Matrix representation of the humans. That means you and I and everyone else can become agents. First question that pops to my mind: When agents take over our Matrix selves, where do our selves go (the human)? On stand-by? We dream? Shut down? Certain death?

And of course, the question spawns many more (as humans do multiply beyond the capacities of their environment), most of which are rhetorical or plain stupid. Pero questions pa rin sila! Hehehe...

If we are on stand by, what do we see? What do we feel? Are we relegated to some metaphorical dark corner of the closet?

I don't think we dream. Kasi pag dream, it is when tracking (and otherwise) devices are "implanted" in the Matrix self while in the Matrix. And the Matrix self thinks it's a dream...that feels all too real. Malamang lang no!

So, is it certain death? Hindi rin. Sometimes, the agents take-over and the threat is extinguished without damage to the Matrix self. But if the Matrix self is killed (think Trinity: "Dodge this." Hot momma...slobber...), then the True self dies. Doesn't this waste ONE human battery for all those machines? Or are humans too numerous that ONE or even ONE THOUSAND humans are disposable and dispensable?

And when the Agents' job is done, what happens to the Matrix self. Does it dream that it chased after some people who whipped out guns and open-fired into a crowd? Come to think of it, how do they control the Matrix SELVES who saw the person change into an Agent, fire at some people and then suddenly change back into themselves. Or are the people made so as not to SEE the Agents.

Hey, that makes sense! Think of it: Matrix selves see not the Agents but the Matrix self that was taken-over by the Agent. So, is it possible that those gun-toting high-school (or middle school kids) teenagers who fired at kids, killed them after taking them hostage...they were actually Agents! Think of it! It's a possibility!

Probe Team Update: Team Sugod (Love and Eliza) won the Halo-halo challenge, earning close to P1,600. They won dinner for two at The Red Crab. Then, at 5am they were off to sell pan-de-sal at 1 peso each. Wise ang Team Extreme! They won the extra 50 bucks for being first to arrive and another 50 bucks for being first to finish. Everyone sold their bread!

Okay, back to my disjointed musings...

I'm planning to celebrate his birthday here at home. We were planning to cook pasta na lang, maybe make some garlic bread (and of course, cake!). And pictures, pictures, pictures galore! If ever, this will be his first birthday party ever. And I have mixed feelings that he will be spending this special day (doubly special kasi first party, tapos birthday niya away from his nuclear family) with me and my family. Parang pressured pero masaya and... honestly, hindi ko alam. I'll find out tomorrow.

Probe Team update ulit: They have to sell footwear! Marikina-made! Ang galing! Kanya-kanyang style! Oh I love their footwear! Ang cute ng mga sandals! And at a hundred bucks and Marikina made! Give it to me baby! Nag-crave ako bigla ng footwear!

What is it with women and footwear? For some unfathomable reason, we love them. I am a self-confessed shoe addict! There's a certain satisfaction in buying an absolutely gorgeous pair of sandals..at a ridiculously low price. And the extra perk is passing it off as a Mendrez, or a People-are-People piece. Unintentionally, of course.

Ah, brand names. What is this fascination for (and bias towards) designer labels? Is it to show other people that they have the money to spend for these designer clothing/stuff and therefore can be elevated to status of "well-off" or "mayaman" (whether that label be true or...well... "perceived" hehehe...)? And to be rich means to be treated nicely, to have overly-smiley salespeople mob you while shopping, get the best seats at restaurants and the right to bitch around.

Speaking of bitching around, I was such a bitch at Pedia yesterday. I was starting to be moody a couple of days ago. I snapped at my brother, tinarayan ko ang beloved ko... at okay na sana. Kaso yesterday, may parent on the phone na super bitch, at super demanding, at super pa-VIP. As if no! Hindi ba niya alam na ako ang may kapangyarihan! I hold their schedules in the palm of my hand! My voice turned sharp, and a little louder (she was a bit hearing-imparied but that wasn't my justification) and I spoke a little slower. Even the interns noticed.

And my bitching started from then. But I wasn't a major bitch. But a bitch nonetheless.

"A cute bitch", he said. Hahaha...

A bisexual bitch, then? Naisip ko lang bigla to on the way back to Pedia. Kasi ganito, I saw a really adorable pair of sneakers on the floor of the jeep in front of us. They were attached to really slim ankles clad in white-striped gray socks...attached to shapely calves underneath a pair of gray parachute capris! And a face of an angel hovered above it.

I was absolutely awe-struck. My first thought was, "Ano ba naman tong nanay nito. Pinapag-commute yung anak niya? Eh kung makidnap yan?"

Hehehe...but I swear on my boobs, she was pretty. I don't find it disturbing that I like to look at pretty girls. So I know how to appreciate beauty...in both genders. Is that bad? Hmmm...

Oh, speaking of shoes (for the second time) they were really cute! Parang yung sneaker sa People are People before..."some chinese name and some other chinese name" yun. Something like Yin and Yang sounding pero shempre hindi yun no, gets?

Anyway, my hunt for THOSE shoes shall commence tomorrow. As soon as I set foot in Rob, I will raid the Shoe Salon, Mendrez, People are People...maybe even Selfridge! Oh how I love shoes!

And now I gotta go. More disjointed musings tomorrow. Or whenever the the fancy strikes.


Song of the Moment: Satellite - Dave Mathews Band

Random Thought of the Day: Totoo nga kaya ang Matrix?

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Those sneakers I saw on Angel Face's feet. Hehehe...The hunt begins!

Word/s for the Day:Disjointed

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Four Hours In Lola's House: Of Exes and Telenovelas

I spent 4 hours in Nanay's house, hoping to get some peace and quiet so I can finish studying Kines (so I haven't finished it, sue me!) finally. Shempre ang sagwa ng napili kong oras!

Kasi naman, mega-overtime ako kanina sa Pedia. I finished at around 7pm na. Uber overtime na yun no, considering that 4:30 ang official time out ng Pedia people!

Anyway, I got to Nanay's at 7:45pm and we had dinner at 8pm while some God-forsaken telenovela (I think it's that one with Tonton and Chin-chin) played on TV. Oks lang...kumakain naman ako so kayang-kaya ko pa siya ma-ignore. After that, I sat down at the foyer while I studied. Telenovela after telenovela started parading in front of my eyes and began to assault my hapless brain. Oh agony! I even saw an ill-acting (can one even call that crap "acting"?!?) Pierre Paolo trying to convince his older sister not to accept some guy as their dad.

Oh goodness. Why oh why do Filipinos put up with this crap? It practically insults the viewer's intelligence. I mean, hello! Who the FUCK would put up with a Cruella-De-Ville-ish mother in law who splats her face into a creme-frosted cake after she overhears that girl telling her husband that she wants to move out and live on their own?!? And what idiot husband would not even investigate if his wife's claims were true (nagsumbong na once si Cecilia, if I remember correctly)...and what infinitely DAFT b*tch would continually be a martyr and suffer her mother-in-law's schizo-affective attacks for the "love" of her husband?! COME ON PEOPLE! This is CRAP! (ooh...I'm beginning to sound like a poster with a million nicks, many times banned and many times reborn! Hwahahaha!)

I ended up leaving earlier than planned. My brain and my intelligence (whatever's left of it anyway) could no longer tolerate being lambasted and stepped on. Thank God walang Kristine Hermosa flick kanina. No offense to her fans but her loveteam with Echo Rosales is getting so...blah. And she is such a lousy actress, I swear. She's Jacklyn Jose- unemotional without Jacklyn's charm and screen presence. Ladidah...BUT it doesn't change the fact that Echo's kinda cute. Harharhar.

In those four hours, I got to finish only three chapters (wonder of wonders that I even finished ONE, given the crap the TV was spouting) and regressed into my "other" thoughts.

I saw pictures of his ex the other day. Let's not name names...I would not appreciate it if she turns out to be an avid fan of my blog (as some of my friends are...I should put a blurb page here...so my friends can rave "ang galing ng blog mo! Makulit at makulay, parang ikaw!" and other pambobolas! hehehe...) and I get a text from her saying she doesn't like the way she was described in my blog (in which case, I would text back "Sorry, wrong number" Wahahahaha...bad bad ko!) and would like a formal letter of apology to be published in my blog.

Oh, going back to his ex, I saw her pictures the other day. Damn hell, she's friggin' cute! I swear, she's like a little kid... all sweet and innocent with that big toothy grin. And her baby pics...she WAS so adorable! In fact, I might even LOVE her...except for two things: she's my beloved's ex (and I am not very good with my bf's exes...hehehe...) and well...let's just say her pysche leaves something to be desired. Oh let's leave it at that. My "other" thoughts have nothing to do with her cuteness (but damn, she IS cute...the sort of cute that makes me "gigil"...like Nancy Castiglione) or her warped psyche. It has EVERYTHING to do with MY warped pysche.

Let's just say that I am going through the "Seventh Week Itch". If couples have a "Seven-Year Itch", I have my "Seventh Week Itch". It's when I begin to disect, resect, digest and molest (WHAT?!?) every detail of my current relationship and mull over them over several cups of coffee and packs of cigarettes (well, I used to but not this time. I've quit) all night and into the wee hours of cock-a-doodle-doo.

And in my hours of thinking, I unearthed some...errr...interesting details.

One, he is my only boyfriend who is only a few months older than I am. Ergo, we are basically the same age. That's one big surprise for me, which my friend Vero remimded me of. In one of our YM conversations, she said: "knowing you, you probably went for someone way older than you are." Funny how I do tend toward older guys. No wonder Dada was surprised to know how old he was. To quote my dear gurlfriend: "WHAT?!?" Hehehe...

Two, he hasn't changed much since our first day as a couple. He still texts a lot, calls a lot (kahit nagagalit ako na nasasayang lang ang load niya), he still misses me as much as he did before. He still HAS to see me everyday (or every other day, which is about as much as he can take...sapilitan na yung 2 days) and he still thinks of me MOST of the time (come on, one doesn't think of one's partner 24/7. Let's be realistic here!)...or so he claims.

Three, we hang out a lot at my house...which NEVER happened with past bf's for some reason or another.

Four, his ex...hmmm...let's get to that later.

Bakit ba napaka-significant sa akin ng 7-week mark?

Kasi ganito: 8 weeks = 2 months. and 2 months is the duration (give or take a couple more weeks) of my past two relationships (which I do not want to go into in detail as of the moment, thank you very much!), unfortunately. Therefore, I tend to be phobic of the 7th and 8th week as the 7th week is the Week of Anticipation (will we break up or not, is it worth going on or not? Magkakaiwanan nanaman ba?) and 8th week is Judgement Week. Oh hell, call me paranoid, schizo, psycho (I do BEG to disagree on this one, though...hehehe...) and whatever the hell you want but it is an established fact that I can never breathe easy until the 8th week has passed without notable events.

Although medyo fallacious nga ang 8th-week relaxation ko kasi things get f*cked up AFTER the 8th week has passed (one messed up 5 days after 8th week and the other at 13 days post) and not on 8th week itself.

Well, I got that covered this time. 9th week is Bet Week. It's one bet I would LOVE to lose. The bet goes: By this day (corresponding to 9th week), he would have left me. And he bets he'd still be around. Not only for Week 9...but until Week 10,000. Hahahaha!

So, that aside, let's go to his ex. I think I'll pass on the descriptions. Suffice it to say... he had wanted out during the last few months of it. And suffice it to say that I do not understand how he put up with it...and suffice it to say that, indeed, her psyche left a lot more to be desired. But as I said, let's not go there.

Let's just put it this way: I try hard not to be like his ex. I try not to make the same mistakes his ex made. Why? Maybe coz I want to increase my chances of losing the bet? Maybe because I just don't want anything in me to be related to (in my sister's words "maihambing"...ek!) his ex. Not that I hate her (and not that I love her either...although nang-gigigil talaga ako sa kanya...she's so CUTE!) nor do I hate him for putting up with her. Hey, to each his own. And I'm definitely not going to make his putting up with her an issue between the two of us. Dahil, unang una, tapos na yun. Past is past. Let's not breathe life into moldy skeletons. Pangalawa, what the hell for? What a waste of energy. I might as well put that energy into creative use, koratch?

But then again, I'm nothing like his ex! Basta...kung ano ako, hindi ganun yung ex niya. Teka...mali. Kung ano yung ex niya, hindi ako ganun. Tama na ba? Ah basta! Let's leave it at this: I do not want to repeat HER mistakes. I want to learn from them.

So what's the point of me writing all this ex-talk in my blog. EH GUSTO KO EH! PAKI MO BA?!?!


Probe Team Commentary:I was laughing my head off watching Probe's Anniversary Special. They made them sell TAHO! Tapos dirty ice cream. At the height of Chedeng! Woohoo! Two years ago naman, pina-akyat sila sa Samal. Umiyak nga si Bernadette dun eh...ayaw na daw niya umakyat sa bundok. Di na daw niya kaya! Ang kulit kulit ni Love! Ang ingay ingay niya magbenta ng taho. Buti pa siya marunong mag-scoop ng taho...she also knows how to scoop out the water. Sina Che-che naman, old-fashioned way. Naglibot talaga. Eh sa Divisoria yun...andaming tao! My goodness! Ang galing nila! Sina Bernadette naman, sales talk! Ang galing, charm charm! Hehehe... Tapos nungnatapos sila, hindi sila kumain dun sa kainan ng halo-halo at pusit-palabok sa Divisoria Mall. Sayang di nila alam eh. Hehehe...

Eniwei, chili con carne, nasan na ba aketch? Hayun...my "other" thoughts. Ah, eto pa nga pala... Friday and Saturday nights, I dreamed of my ex in a non-threatening manner. Which is really really weird. I am a little...perplexed. And VERY tempted not to give it any thought. But growing up as I did given the way I am (past experiences nonwithstanding), I have learned NEVER to ignore my dreams.

Haaayyy...ang daldal ko no?

Sana matapos ko na yung Kines. Ang dami ko pang tatapusin, actually. Haaayy...ewan ko ba. Weird talaga. Auditory-distractible kasi ako so I find it hard to study pag may kahit konting ingay...pwera pag music. At dapat yun, pure music...as in music lang. Dapat minimal lang ang "speaking" noise, so that immediately strikes Starbucks Rob and Starbucks La Salle out. Ang ingay ingay dun, grabe! Sa Rob, andaming jologs. Sa La Salle naman, puro conio talk. Eitherway, ingay. Pwede pa sa Starbucks UN kasi medyo quiet ang atmosphere dun, kahit sa labas. Dumadaan lang dun, cars and trucks and an occasional ambulance papuntang MaDocs. Masaya sana mag-aral dun kung may kasama ako. Isama ko kaya siya...kaya lang gabi na yun. Mag-aalala nanaman ako sa pag-uwi niya. Wag na lang. Solo flight na lang ako.

I only have six weeks! Six weeks to finish my clearance. Six months to get my TOR and COG. Six weeks to apply at PRC for Boards. Six weeks to finish studying. Six weeks to make sure I assimilate every bit of information my poor neurons can hold.

Six more weeks of hell. Six more weeks till Judgement Day.

So, in six weeks, will I be a PRTP or a PTPP (PT Pul-pol hehehe...or PT Palpak)?!?

Probe Team Commentary ulit: Ang kulit talaga ni Love! Nilibre kasi sila sa pamasahe sa jeepney nung driver...so in return, nag-barker sila. Ang funny talaga! Sina Che-che, binigyan ng 50-cents discount nung driver ng nasakyan nila. Tapos nagbenta sila ng ice cream sa Project 2. Hindi pa marunong mag-scoop ng ice cream sila Cheche at Bernadette. Pero oks lang...si Love ang kapal talaga ng mukha! Nakakatuwa! Si Bernadette naman, kilala kaya maraming bumibili sa kanila. Sina Cheche din, kilala kaya may bumibili din. And saya ng mga gimik nila. Yung team ni Bernadette (Love Team), nag-stay in one place lang parang nung sa Taho Challenge. Kaya ayun, dinumog sila. Young and old alike. Kasi kilala nga si Bernadette kaya madaming bumibili sa kanila kahit hindi sila marunong maglagay ng ice cream sa cone. Team Sugod naman (Team ni Love), swerte kasi nakapunta sila sa isang place na gala ang mga bata. So andami ding bumibili. Tapos "Extortion" naman ang ginamit ni Love sa mga matatanda habang bumibili ng cones si Eliza. Sina Bernadette naman, in-offer-an sila ng isang karinderya na kumain dun nang walang bayad. Nahihiya pa nga si RObert nung una, kaso gutom din so kumain na rin siya.

Before ako magkuwento pa, dapat kasi, yung kikitain nila sa taho at ice cream challenge lang yung pwede nila gastusin kaya malaking bagay sa kanila na libre! Gets? Owki...tuloy...

May mga naawa din kina Love. Tapos sina Cheche, binentahan yung mga officemates nila sa Anonas Extension. Tapos nung naubos na yung cones nila at kumain sila, pina-ubos na nila sa ibang tao yung tirang ice cream. They earned 50 pesos additonal to their 1,930.60 Shempre bawas na dun yung pamasahe nila, yung pinambili nila ng cones at yung pinang-lunch nila. Nasira yung gulong ng cart nila Bernadette kaya sinakay na nila sa isang pick-up (which is not bawal naman) tapos pumirmi sa isang site tapos nagbenta sa terminal ng jeep. They made 2,004.75 from the ice cream. Team Sugod (Love's team) made 1,685 bucks. And they came in last. ANG FUN nito, sobra!

Eniwei, Manila Bay, ang tagal ko nang hindi nakakapag-row! Ni hindi nga ako makapag-gym! Ang taba ko na! Hindi na kasya sa akin yung iba kong clothes! Lalo na yung mga jeans ko! There was even a time na jogging pants at shirts na lang ang nasusuot ko dahil sobrang laki ng na-gain ko na weight! At my height, I reached 118 pounds. Ngyi...pretty traumatic when my usual weight is 105-108 lbs. Hehehe...

'By and I are planning to go swimming on Saturday, most probably in the afternoon. Kasi I have classes pa rin in the morning. Nice sana kung matuloy kami. At least, QT yun...plus makaka-work out kami together. We both get to lose weight! Siya din kailangan pumayat! Laki na ng tummy niya eh...Hihihi (Sorry Baby...totoo naman e!)

Probe Team Commentary once more: Love Team won a visit to Discovery Spa...wow...inggit ako. Love Team got a free ride to Ortigas, along with Team Extreme (Cheche's team)...all thanks to Bernadette! Ang lakas talaga ng charisma ni Bernadette! Hehehe! Sina Love naman, nag-barker nanaman sa bus kasi libre naman sila sa pamasahe. Pwede na sila mag-sideline ng barker! Hwahahaha! Tapos na nga yung challenge, puro pagbebenta pa rin ang napag-usapan nila. Sabi ni Cheche, mukha na daw silang pera! Sobrang tuwang-tuwa sila na sa Discovery Suites sila matutulog. Akala daw nila, sa barracks ng Camp Aguinaldo! Hehehe...

So anyway, they had to sell halo-halo naman in Marikina. Bawal na daw ang libre. They have to pay for everything na. Meaning, no more free rides and no more free lunches. Wahahaha.

So this time, they had to get to The Biggest Shoe in Marikina. Love's Team (Team Sugod) got there first and won 50 bucks extra...and they had to get their stuff and start selling at Freedom Park. And the fun continues next Tuesday night.

Hayun... with Probe Team over, I shall return to my "other" thoughts. Is there a possibility that, 9 months after my last relationship (and 5 months after his) I have found someone who will be The One.

I really don't believe in The One...as in like, may isang tao na talagang para sa iyo at kahit anong kabalbalan ang gawin mo, kahit anong kagaguhan ang ipataw mo sa kanya...siya at siya pa rin ang makakatuluyan mo. I don't like the idea. I don't like the thought of having even my future partner predestined. Ayoko nun...parang napaka-controlled. Parang wala akong say, wala akong choice. But to some extent, I believe that that there are some people you are MEANT to meet. How it turns out is up to you. Yun ang pagkakaiba sa The One theory.

Let me put it plainly. I was meant to meet (and hook up) with Alain. But it was up to me if I wanted a relationship to form and it was up to me (or to us) if I (or we) wanted it to flourish. Parang ganun. The people we meet are scheduled...parang manifesto ng passengers sa plane or sa ship. Depende na sa akin kung anong gagawin ko dun sa mga pasaherong sasakay sa buhay ko. Gets?

Whateyber, Lucifer! Basta ako inaantok...at shempre kinakabahan sa Boards. I tried answering some past Boards questions. My God! I got only 40% in my first try...Anatomy and Kinesiology pa lang yun ha! Hello! I need 70% to even get a SHOT at passing...huhuhu. Natatakot na talaga ako, to put it plainly. Natatakot ako sa possibility na hindi ko matatapos aralin lahat. Or matapos ko nga pero low retention level naman ako.

At natatakot ako na baka kailangan ko muna siya i-ignore for the next six weeks. Well, hindi naman "ignore" in the strictest sense. "Ignore" lang na tipong hindi ko siya masyadong maasikaso, baka hindi ko na siya masyadong maipagluto ng food niya sa house...or hindi kami masyadong magkikita. Scary gamble din yun...gusto pa naman namin lagi kaming nagkikita... Oh hell, I hate to even THINK about the possibilities I must consider with this sort of set-up. A-Y-O-K-O!!!

Haaayy...baka mag-aral na lang ako sa Starbucks UN bukas ng gabi...solo flight muna ako. Ig-glue ko muna yung pwet ko sa silya. Sana tahimik yung mga makatabi ko...at sana sa loob ako. Ayoko sa smoking area...baka ma-tempt ako magyosi ulit...hehehe...kape pa naman yun. Nicotine and caffeine go SO well together!

Anyway, sil 'vous plait (ano ba yan! Kung anu-ano na!), I gotta catch my Z's. 7 am ang class ko bukas tapos half-day nanaman sa Pedia. Sana mapapirma ko na lahat ng pwedeng mapa-pirma sa clearance ko, para menos sa mga aasikasuhin ko. Dapat maka-apply na ako sa PRC by next week eh. Oh hell...

Yun lang! Goodnight! Laters!

Ah hell...I miss him...

Song of the Moment: Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band
To quote: You've got your ball, you've got your chain. Tied to me tight, TIE ME UP AGAIN!

In short- itali mo pa ako ulit! It is not my desire na ma-untie from you. Tangina ang corny! I need coffee...and fast!

Random Thought of the Day: Passing the Boards would be one hell of an achievement. To Top the Boards would be PHENOMENAL. Now, do I go for the achievement or do I deign to give the phenomenon a chance? Or the better question would be: am I WILLING, am I READY to make the necessary sacrifices to achive that phenomenon? And if I am ready, if I am willing... is he?

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: A Top slot in the August 2003 Boards...and shopping money! So I can buy all the clothes I want for him...hehehe (conrol freak mode ON)!

Word/s for the Day: "Nakakatuwa!"

Friday, June 06, 2003


There are just some things one cannot discuss in a blog. For one reason or another.

And I am not about to name those things. Nor am I about to enumerate the reasons why.

So sue me.

Monday, June 02, 2003

Kawawa naman ako...

I was at Chez this morning, measured the ceiling and the walls, tsaka tried to rearrange the furniture and all the other stuff. Haayy...

My whole family, minus my dad, went to Glorietta today. We were going to get school shoes for my sibs. Wawa naman ako...since hindi na ako pumapasok, wala akong shoes. May pinapabili nga sana akong slippers sa Merrel eh... yung kulay blue na parang sandals na sa big toe lang yung parang strap. Alam mo yun...imbes na isa siyang malaking strap (parang yung slippers ni By), parang hiwalay siya ng strap sa big toe...di ko ma-explain! Hweniwei...sayang... korek na yung size e. Size seven na, ang ganda ng fit...super sakto! Tapos ayaw ni Mama. Oo nga naman kasi. Ka-price niya halos yung Vans na sneakers na gusto ko...pero kahit na! Daya! Ako lang ang walang nabili kanina! Maski si Mama, she got a dress. Ako...hindi. Haaay. Ang babaw no?

Nakita nga pala namin si Heart at si Sarah Christophers sa Starbucks kanina. Wala lang. Na-disilluison ako sa kanya. Mas cute pa siya sa TV...pero oks lang. Her butt is nicer in person! Harharhar!

Oh, I told Mama na By wants me to take care of the interiors of the house. Pati siya natuwa. I-videotape ko daw yung loob ng bahay para maka-input siya. Natuwa naman ako sa reation niya. Hehehe... may suggestion na agad siya...yung platform para sa bed, para hindi masyadong mababa.

Kanina nga pala, when they were picking out pillowcases for their hotdog pillows (daya...ako wala!), I was browsing the glassware. Ang daming canisters na magaganda...lalagyan ng coffee, milk, sugar, pasta, candies, salt at kung anik anik pa! Tapos ang daming cute na pitchers of water (pero shempre hindi kailangan yun kasi magwa-water dispenser naman kami eventually), tsaka mga baso. Tapos may nakita na akong shower curtain, tsaka matching na rug. Tapos mga tabo at pail na puti. Tsaka clothes hamper (for laundry). Tapos mga silverware...tsaka bedsheets! At pillowcases para sa floor pillows. Grabe, RIOT yung ideas sa utak ko. Hindi ko pa naman dala yung "Chez book" ko, so note nang note nang note sa Clie. Hwekhekhek.

Tapos ang dami kong nakitang clothes/accessories na gusto ko bilhin for him: sweatshirts, a windbreaker, a bag, really light rubber shoes, boxer shorts (hehehe), sports socks, polos, shirts, slacks...ang dami talaga! Pati suklay! Hehehehe...

Kanina nga pala (shet, patalon-talon ako magkuwento!), may bagong ayos nanaman ako na naisip sa bahay. Pwede pala maglagay ng sitting room dun sa main room. Tapos pwedeng hindi na yung big table ang dining table. Oks na sya sa kitchen, i-s-sand ko na lang at varnish. Oks na siyang natural. Nagdadalawang-isip na din ako sa orange na accent color eh. Parang mas maganda kung blue...shades of blue...para malamig sa mata. Relaxing pag-uwi niya. Gets? Tapos nalipat ko na yung bed dun sa "bed nook", tapos nag-measure na ako ng dimensions ng floor (iba sa ceiling yun kasi may slope yung ceiling) para sa rubber mats at pseudo-carpets. Tsaka para malaman ko kung gaano ka-laki ang pwedeng ilagay na floor pillows, area rugs, low tables at yung accent lighting na pwede ilagay.

Ang laki pala nung other room, yung plano naming gawing closet lang. Ang laki nya, sobra. Nasasayangan ako sa space. Gusto ko sana buksan yung wall para malaki yung kitchen..tapos ang hiwalay na lang yung bed area. Eh kaso wala namang time gawin yun eh so I'd just have to work around the structure (and budget) that we have.

By thinks I absolutely must meet his ex. It's not that, really. Gusto ko lang, curious lang ako. But if it will cause trouble, wag na. Hindi ko naman ikamamatay diba?

I miss my peyups friends. Hindi ko nga alam if they still consider me their "friend" since I don't get to hang with them anymore. Not that I could, given what I have to do. Still... oh well. The true ones will be there even after ten million years.

Speaking of true friends, miss ko na PT barkada ko. Miss ko na si Pepot at si Paolo. Miss ko na silang lahat! Huwah! I don't have a life anymore!

And I don't have a lot of time to sleep anymore!

Hwekhekhekhek...laters! Gotta catch them Z's!

Song of the Moment: Fighter - Christina Aguilera

Random Thought of the Day: When does materialism begin to become evil? Or does the mere want of material things spawn evil in itself? Even if those objects are for the common good?

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Blue Merrel sandals/slippers. Perfect rain gear. Haaayyy...

Word/s for the Day: "Uy, pwede to sa bahay!"

Saturday, May 31, 2003

I am so LOST

Hindi ko na alam kung anong uunahin kong gagawin, kung anong una kong aaralin. Sometimes I wake up not knowing what I have to do for the day: do I have classes? What topic? Aabot pa ba ako? Masasaraduhan ba ako ng pinto? Maloloka na ba ako?!?

Pero shempz, thanks to By's Clie... solve! Hehehe...I now have a new "morning habit"... The Clie Habit. Bago pa man bumukas ang mata ko, Clie na hawak ko. Yes, hindi na cellphone. Clie na! Check sched... ah...oki...class at 8am, Low Back Pain lectures. Saka tingin sa cel: oh shit, 7am na! Teka...may text pa si By...basa muna...hekhekhek!

So hayun! Oh, I had dinner at Mang Jimmy's last night! Ang lakas talaga kumain ni Chris! Even more so now na wala na siyang inaalala!

Shet, ang bakla talaga ni Carlos Agassi! Sorry...I just had to say that! I was watching Buttercup, shempre while posting and while blogging! Did you forget I'm the Queen of multitasking?!? Anyway, I liked the show...except ang bakla talaga ni Carlos. Dapat sa kanya yung role ni Onemig..mas bakla pa siya sa kanilang lahat! Letch...pero I swear...nice yung show. Tuwa ako everloo! Para siyang Berks...or Click...or Gimik...or TGIS...or whatever...pero mas mature...mga 22-23 years old na mga tao... mas kapanipaniwala na sila in tackling mature issues. O devah?


Anyway, I gotta go and catch some Z's. Sana madala na niya sa apartment yung stuff niya. Nangangati na nga akong ayusin yung bahay.

Actually, plano ko mag-stay sa apartment before going to my 3pm class. Ang tanong: mag-aaral ako o mag-aayos? Hekhekhek... I think it's of no contest... Shempre mag-aayos no! Heller! Malaking area yung ide-decopage no! I think I'll do the ceiling first kasi yun ang white... so I guess I'll do that first. Excited na ako grabe! I want to literally TRANSFORM the house. I should've been an interior decorator, no? Hehehe...

Which reminds me, I need to get the contract from Amelie. Mahirap nang walang pinanghahawakan.

Sana talaga madala na niya yung gamit. Gustong-gusto ko na ayusin yung bahay! As in...

Nga pala, kagabi kasi hindi na niya ako nahatid. Well, actually ako ang nagsabing wag na. Para makauwi siya sa Bulacan. He wanted to get on kaso sinara na yung door and Manong Driver sped away. Anyway, I was at Taft corner Pedro Gil. Nasa dulo ako ng jeep and I was staring into nothingness. Tapos, there was this car sa kabilang lane, one car-length behind us. The driver rolled down his window and I saw a really cute guy! Okay, Chinese mestizo siya (which isn't exactly my type) pero cute siya! And he smiled at me. Nung una shempre, nagtataka pa ako kung ako ang nginitian niya. So I turned away (naka-stop kasi kami) but when I looked back, he smiled again. Tapos, nung Go na, he tailed the jeep pero sa kabilang lane, tapos he kept looking at me and smiling at me. Shempre ako kinakabahan na... kasi mega gitgit siya sa lahat ng sasakyan just to tail the jeep. May muntik pa siyang mabanggang trike. Anyway, nung bumaba ako, tinapatan niya ako and asked me " Need a ride?" HELLO! Shempre sabi ko, "No thanks. I'll just walk" Wala na kasing trike so...no choice. He asked for my name and I said another name...Alex ata sinabi ko. Tapos hindi pa nakuntento, sinabayan pa ako maglakad (shempre uber-slow sya magpaandar diba? Mahirap yun ha! Manual yung car niya eh!) at nangulit every three seconds kung ayaw ko ba talaga sumakay. So niligaw ko...kung saan-saan ako umikot... tapos sa Estrada, sabay turn around ako at liko sa Camachile. Eh alley yun...alanganamang sumunod siya diba...ayun... scary pa man din yun pag gabi. Mga two minutes later, lumabas ako at naglakad pauwi. ISkeyri I swear! But he gave me his number... nung una, sinabi lang niya. Ako nag-nod lang ako at sabi ko "Okay". Napansin niya na hindi ko sinulat so he held the wheel with one hand, and scribbled something on a receipt (from Starbucks...no surprise!) and handed it to me. A Globe line number. Wala namang name niya, idiot! Ayun, may-I-throw ko nga!

I was also checking out Astrology,com and I got this:

Your Rising Sign is Scorpio, don't be hurt if people keep their distance. It's not out of disgust, but out of reverent intimidation. You seem so intense -- it could be your penetrating gaze or the way you seductively lean against the wall -- whether you mean to or not! You're dynamically alluring, and people are inexplicably drawn to you. All this perceived sexiness is fun, but there's a downside to looking like a Scorpio -- you may seem moody and even a little dangerous. Enjoy the mystery factor -- it can be fun to be an enigma!

It is SO not fun to be ministerpreted! It's hard to convince people otherwise...becaue many people do not believe anything beyond what they can see with their eyes.But it's not like I can do anything about it...Oh well!

Moon is in Libra

Your desire for harmonious relationships and surroundings is so strong that you avoid personal confrontations or any expression of intense, unpleasant emotions. You are an idealist who would like to paint the world in pastel colors, and live in peace and harmony with others at all times. You are able to see points of similarity and unity with people who are vastly different from yourself, and befriend many different types of people. You are a considerate and thoughtful friend, and have a real flair for making others feel accepted and appreciated. Inwardly you are often torn with indecision and are much more at odds with yourself than others would ever guess from your smooth, even disposition

Harharhar, me down to every letter. Ah, stars, speak some more! Eto naman...love shit ko daw based on my sign (Venus in Libra):

Those visited by Libra in their House of Love are great romantics, truly idealistic and ever forgiving. They also love a world filled with beauty, so a five-star meal at an idyllic retreat is the way to wow this lover. Talk about foreplay! The mating dance is essential to those with Venus in Libra, appreciating as they do a bit of extravagance in the name of love. The prize for pampering this pet? Someone who is compassionate and there for their lover and who understands the importance of both a physical and mental attraction.

Ahha... physical and mental attraction. One cannot go without the other. Nuh-uh! Idealistic, great (if not hopeless) romantic...Go on, go on! I'm still in the mood to read...Passion naman daw...(Mars in Saggitarius)

If you have Mars in Sagittarius you are most likely to be loads of fun! You have an inner integrity that is backed up by an honest and very integrated expression. You speak your mind clearly and strive to remain true to your idealistic sense of how people can relate to one another. You are adventuresome, and love freedom in all forms. Your active and carefree nature attracts multitudes, your excitement being almost impossible to quell. This type of energy can be contagious and will spread like wildfire. In love, you are in tune with both your spiritual nature, and your very strongly felt animal appetites. You infuse the two, bringing this so called duality together through physical expression. You are curious and expend a lot of your energy through endless discovery. You offer spontaneity to your relationships and are happiest when you find your kindred spirit.

Again. Me in every letter. Weird shit... hwahahaha...physical expression, endless discovery, love all form of freedom... spontaniety...Sige pa! Keep 'em coming!

Eto naman...excerpts (mahaba kasi eh) of me on Healing (Chiron in Taurus):

...you bear a pain of neglect or that what you have is never enough...
At the heart of Taurus is a yearning for security and the pleasure of sensory stimulation: food, physical affection, bodily nourishment. Taurus loves to indulge, but with Chiron in Taurus, you're never quite full; as your stomach can feel empty, so too can your heart. Rather than wallowing in the haze of your hunger for what you lack, Chiron in Taurus encourages you to appreciate what you have. By cherishing gifts you already possess, you can share what you've learned from your pain with others. Give your time to causes dealing with a lack of resources: homelessness, hunger, neglected children, or for those wanting for affection or sensory or material comfort.

Now I know why I have the intense desire to help others. Chiron is the answer (shet ang corny ko! *hik*), let it BE! Harharhar...

Ahha...my Karmic sign!

Trying to find in others what is lacking in yourself often results in pain and disappointment. Somehow you always seem to end up with a partner who doesn't quite understand you, who limits and hinders you. The partner you choose may also be somewhat older or have a conservative outlook on life. As a result you may move from one bad relationship to the next, or stay in one relationship and take the role of martyr -- never realizing your true motivation. If you come to terms with the fact that you may not want to fully connect with another -- out of your own fear of intimacy -- there is potential for growth and understanding that you have the capacity of fulfillment within yourself. Your relationship can be source of suffering or of personal growth -- the decision is yours.

Libra through and through... me to every letter again! Whoa...weird weird weird shit! Asteeeg! Ginagago ata ako ng computer na ito eh! Hwekhekhekhek...

Excerpts from my Rebellion Sign (Uranus in Sagitarrius):

Uranus in Sagittarius is a great combination. Sagittarius is the explorer, always looking to discover new things. With Uranus always trying to change the world, revolutionary proceedings can occur at breakneck pace...
...spurred on by a generosity that is lacking in many other signs...

Hmmm...interesting...Pluto in Libra:

This generation, however, is determined to make all of their partnerships work out. They watch what has worked for previous generations and incorporate it into their own lives, and they see what has failed in the past and try to make working changes. Some of those born while Pluto was in Libra might cast aside the idea of formal marriage in favor of more unconventional approaches to unity. Others, however, may decide that the free-form approach does not work and choose to rely on the more conservative elements that worked for marriage in earlier generations.

Me to every letter. This is a conspiracy! You're kidney! Hwahahaha! Ito pa, Neptune in Sagittarius (Spirituality) excerpts:

...extremely idealistic and farsighted in their dreams...
...very liberal and expansive in outlook, and consequently churches become much more flexible and more eclectic in their approach during your life time. Religions that do not adapt to the broad-minded attitude of your age group simply are unable to attract very much interest and involvement from you...

Korek korek...actually. Even YFC wasn't enough for me. Haaayyy...napagod ako kaka-surf ng mga yan ha! Hwehehehe...but it was worth my while.

Anyway, chili con carne, I gotta go! Early pa ako aalis bukas. I'll decide where to go the moment I step onto Taft. Hihi.

Nyt nyt!

Song of the Moment: I Miss You - Incubus
To quote: I know I'll see you again, whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care...and I miss you!

Random Thought of the Day: Shempre sana makuha ko yung TOR ko by the middle of June para maka-apply na ako sa PRC. Meaning, dapat matapos ko na yung Pedia stuff.

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Ay shet, ang dami! I feel like a materialistic bitch whenever I enumerate them! But since I already am one, here goes: Clinique Happy (or yung imitation nya sa Petit Monde na scent!) kasi naamoy ko siya kanina...shet...I swear! It's addicting! Tapos this dress at Freeway! It's a tube dress with straps, purple ang dominant color (as expected). At Globe shoes I saw at SM North... tsaka yung slippers sa Tribu na orange...kahit Velcro siya...tapos...ah letche...materialistic bitch! Hwahahaha...

Word/s for the Day: "Tired..."

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

He got me a CLIE!?!

I can't believe it! He showed it to me yesterday...and it has a music player...and a headset...and...it's in Japanese! Cool shit! Ang ganda ng resolution, nakakabasa ng pictures with amazing clarity...shet! The resolution is freaking AMAZING! (Obvious bang sobrang amazed ako?) Pwede ko siyang gamitin pang-YM with my cell via IR...pwede ko din daw siyang gawing remote control! Freaky cool shit!

I told him na sobrang maiinggit si Papa sa Clie if ever... siya naman, sobrang excited nang ayusin para madala na daw niya dito at gusto niyang makita yung reaction ni Papa pag nakita niya yung bago kong gadget! Hwekhekhekhek... Actually, sa calculations ko, si Kowiz ang mas maiinggit, being the "gadget maverick" among my siblings. But the best feature...explorer = peyups with my Clie!Hehehehe...sana i-install...Hekhekhek...

My mom's sick. Wawa naman...

Wala akong matinong maisulat ah...

Ay meron pala! Nagtext nanaman siya. Hindi ko lang maintindihan kung anong satisfaction ang nakukuha niya sa pag-text. Oh well... Maganda pa ring neuron exercises ang pag-decipher ng kanyang mga mensahe.

BTW, was at Chez last night. I made him dinner with the food he has stocked up: pancit canton, omelette at toasted bread! Wow...almost purely carbs with some protein and cholesterol thrown in! Hehehehe...ang sarap mag-grocery! Lahat na...meat, veggies, butter, cheeses, bread, yoghurt drinks, milk, cereals, canned stuff... whoa! Umaatake nanaman pagka-control freak ko! Pero shempz, hinay-hinay lang kasi wala pa yung fridge. Sa Saberday pa ata niya kukunin. Which means Monday pa siguro ako pwedeng magwala sa grocery! Harharhar.

Binenta ba naman ako sa Mom niya! Sabi ng mom niya, "Talaga? Tikman ko nga!" Nung nag-reunion sila last weekend, sinabi daw niya sa mom niya na sobrang galing ko daw mag-luto! Heller! Shempre natakot naman ako. Nervous pa naman ako mag-cook for other people. Paano kaya ako magluluto sa birthday niya?!? Shempre kinakabahan ako no! Kapampangan pa man din yung parents niya...so very good cooks! *kaba kaba* Pero he assures me that his mom doesn't cook pasta...so...maybe there is hope yet! Hahahaha...

Anyway, I gotta go wash the dishes muna. Then cook dinner. Mom doesn't feel well and I don't want her to tire herself further by cooking dinner...so it's Moi to the rescue!

Song of the Moment: Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Random Thought of the Day: I lost my umbrella! I left it sa jeep! No! Waaahhh! My beloved Mona Lisa is gone!

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: The Top Slot for August Boards 2003. Mangarap ka...

Word/s for the Day: "Am I safe?"

Monday, May 26, 2003

Now What?

Right... so the opportunity came and we grabbed it. Well, now what? I mean, if that's all there will be to it, then where do we go from here? Oh well.

Wawa naman siya. Mag-isa siya sa apartment ngayon. Sabi ko na nga ba dapat nag-grocery na rin kami nung weekend eh. Tapos dapat bumili na kami ng other stuff for the house. Oh well, there'll be other times.

Argh, f*cking rain is ruining my schedule for the week. And pedia clinic is f*cking up my shcedule even more...causing me to miss my classes for the next five days! Argh! Tama ba naman yun?!?

Hwehehehe, mega-binenta daw niya ako sa Mom niya. Shempre kinabahan naman ako...we have to fix the place by then, paint the wall, put in the decor...set the menu...ooohhh scary!

Sabi niya may surprise daw siya sa akin bukas... shempre hindi ko maisip kung ano! MCPOTD ko daw yun...na makaka-help sa studies ko...and beyond. Hmmm...shempz di ko pa rin maisip (Am I daft?) hehehe...Oh well, what's 24 hours?

Sana tumigil na yung rain. Para hindi na ma-hassle bukas...

Song of the Moment: Rain - Madonna

Random Thought of the Day: Bakit ngayon pa pinili ng Diyos na bumagyo? Bakit ngayon pa na-sched yung Pedia? Bakit hindi pa rin ako pumapasok sa review? Papasa ba ako? (Yan ang random! Hehehe)

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: My license to practice my profession...and somewhere to practice...hehehe!

Word/s for the Day: "Damn Rain"

Thursday, May 22, 2003

Losing Time...

Review began yesterday and already I'm overwhelmed by the workload. Not that anything is new but to cram two years worth of lecture and practical application into two months just isn't neuron- (and eyebag-) friendly! My classes are all day (which is imperative if I am to pass) and that doesn't include self-review sessions (which are absolutely necessary if I am to...well...top the Boards. Not that I know I can but heck, it's worth a shot!) which will probably eat up the rest of my time na hindi kakainin ng tulog o paglamon. No time to train for rowing even! And to think there's an upcoming race in July. Oooh...sacrifices, sacrifices.

Speaking of sacrifices, matagal na akong hindi nagpe-peyups. It's quite a sacrifice on my part, considering how addicted I am to posting. I did post a couple of days ago but of course, it's not the same anymore. Hindi na ako masyadong maka-relate sa mga posters, hindi na ako updated sa chismis at shempz, wala akong masyadong mai-share (I no longer have a life! Harharhar!) sa postings ko. It could be I've outgrown peyups...pero hindi siguro. Maybe I've just gone so long without it that my system isn't used to it anymore. But I doubt I've outgrown peyups...not when I'm THAT addicted. Hwehehehehe...

Another sacrifice is quality time. Nasa office siya same time as I am at review class plus Saturday and Sunday. By the time he gets out of the office, I'm already home and dead tired at that. Not that we don't get tospend time together. He came over last night and had dinner here. But maybe the next few weeks (8 weeks, to be exact) may be a "dry spell" for us since he'd most probably be busy with modifying his current project with the new specs and I'll be...well...buried under books.

Of course we'd still be spending time, especially when we start decorating the apartment. Ang swerte talaga na nakuha namin yung apartment na yun. When I checked for apartments the night prior, hindi pa advertised yun. The next day, I checked again in the afternoon and I saw that apartment. Of course I called agad. And thank God we got it. It's not much but it's accessible from the office and it's pretty secure. Pasok din naman sa budget, kahit paano so I guess it'll do until we find a better place. But for now, it'll be home.

His home, anyway. It's really funny how my barkada reacted when I met up with them for our regular coffee-chika sessions and I was gushing about how we found this cute apartment and I was showing them floorplans and rough interior-decor sketches I made. They thought I'd be moving in with him! It was quite amusing how they were (blushingly) explaining that they got together half an hour earlier to discuss my impenind "live-in" situation. Sabi nila, I was a little unorthodox (little daw o! Hwehehehe) but this they did not expect from me.

I guess they're right...this I cannot do yet. I mean...heller?!? Live in?!? When I don't even have an income of my own yet. Of course I'm not about to depend on him for MY expenses. Heller?!? That won't be quite fair.

But I am excited to start decorating the house, habang hindi pa masyadong mabigat yung workload at medyo flexible pa ang scheduling ng lectures at exams. Besides, I might lose steam and those drawings may never come to life.

I was at Montalban today for the last of my surveying activities. Ang init sobra! Para akong tinutusta, although I was very productive. I surveyed twice as much as the other group, which had double the manpower. I'm quite tired though.

His family is coming home frm Germany tonight and he's off to the airport to pick them up. Buti naman at masusundo niya sila this time. Nahuli kasi siya nung aalis na sila so hindi siya naka-bye bye man lang.

One of my exes is still texting me, though his motives are unclear. Despite that, it's a bit unsettling when I ponder upon the reasons why he would even want to text still, let alone texting messages with such content. Oh well.

Eniwei, chili con carne, I'm off to Taft to get dinner. Tinatamad na ako magluto ng dinner at mas gugustuhin kong matulog, kung hindi lang nagyayaya yugn mga kapatid ko na kumain sa labas. Shempre hindi ako makatanggi no!

Hindi ko na masyadong nakakausap si John. Nakaka-guilty na nga minsan eh kaso madalas tumatawag when I'm talking to him. And sometimes, may gumamagamit lang kasi lagi ng phone. No, make that...MOST of the time may gumagamit ng phone. Hindi ko na sila makamusta ni Chey, though I hope they're okay.

Anyway, Manila Bay, I gotta go. My books await my eyes to glance upon them so that the visual stimuli may be transported to my brain and decoded into simple bits of memory with which to overload my poor, outnumbered neurons. Oh mercy! Harharhar!


Song of the Moment: You Live Only Twice - Coldplay

Random Thought of the Day: There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who count and those who don't.

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: A car. I swear, I need a car. Para hindi ako ma-late sa klase... at para maka-drive by shooting ako...hardiharhar!

Word/s for the Day: "Whatever!"