Saturday, May 31, 2003

I am so LOST

Hindi ko na alam kung anong uunahin kong gagawin, kung anong una kong aaralin. Sometimes I wake up not knowing what I have to do for the day: do I have classes? What topic? Aabot pa ba ako? Masasaraduhan ba ako ng pinto? Maloloka na ba ako?!?

Pero shempz, thanks to By's Clie... solve! Hehehe...I now have a new "morning habit"... The Clie Habit. Bago pa man bumukas ang mata ko, Clie na hawak ko. Yes, hindi na cellphone. Clie na! Check sched... ah...oki...class at 8am, Low Back Pain lectures. Saka tingin sa cel: oh shit, 7am na! Teka...may text pa si By...basa muna...hekhekhek!

So hayun! Oh, I had dinner at Mang Jimmy's last night! Ang lakas talaga kumain ni Chris! Even more so now na wala na siyang inaalala!

Shet, ang bakla talaga ni Carlos Agassi! Sorry...I just had to say that! I was watching Buttercup, shempre while posting and while blogging! Did you forget I'm the Queen of multitasking?!? Anyway, I liked the show...except ang bakla talaga ni Carlos. Dapat sa kanya yung role ni Onemig..mas bakla pa siya sa kanilang lahat! Letch...pero I swear...nice yung show. Tuwa ako everloo! Para siyang Berks...or Click...or Gimik...or TGIS...or whatever...pero mas mature...mga 22-23 years old na mga tao... mas kapanipaniwala na sila in tackling mature issues. O devah?

Hwateyber.

Anyway, I gotta go and catch some Z's. Sana madala na niya sa apartment yung stuff niya. Nangangati na nga akong ayusin yung bahay.

Actually, plano ko mag-stay sa apartment before going to my 3pm class. Ang tanong: mag-aaral ako o mag-aayos? Hekhekhek... I think it's of no contest... Shempre mag-aayos no! Heller! Malaking area yung ide-decopage no! I think I'll do the ceiling first kasi yun ang white... so I guess I'll do that first. Excited na ako grabe! I want to literally TRANSFORM the house. I should've been an interior decorator, no? Hehehe...

Which reminds me, I need to get the contract from Amelie. Mahirap nang walang pinanghahawakan.

Sana talaga madala na niya yung gamit. Gustong-gusto ko na ayusin yung bahay! As in...

Nga pala, kagabi kasi hindi na niya ako nahatid. Well, actually ako ang nagsabing wag na. Para makauwi siya sa Bulacan. He wanted to get on kaso sinara na yung door and Manong Driver sped away. Anyway, I was at Taft corner Pedro Gil. Nasa dulo ako ng jeep and I was staring into nothingness. Tapos, there was this car sa kabilang lane, one car-length behind us. The driver rolled down his window and I saw a really cute guy! Okay, Chinese mestizo siya (which isn't exactly my type) pero cute siya! And he smiled at me. Nung una shempre, nagtataka pa ako kung ako ang nginitian niya. So I turned away (naka-stop kasi kami) but when I looked back, he smiled again. Tapos, nung Go na, he tailed the jeep pero sa kabilang lane, tapos he kept looking at me and smiling at me. Shempre ako kinakabahan na... kasi mega gitgit siya sa lahat ng sasakyan just to tail the jeep. May muntik pa siyang mabanggang trike. Anyway, nung bumaba ako, tinapatan niya ako and asked me " Need a ride?" HELLO! Shempre sabi ko, "No thanks. I'll just walk" Wala na kasing trike so...no choice. He asked for my name and I said another name...Alex ata sinabi ko. Tapos hindi pa nakuntento, sinabayan pa ako maglakad (shempre uber-slow sya magpaandar diba? Mahirap yun ha! Manual yung car niya eh!) at nangulit every three seconds kung ayaw ko ba talaga sumakay. So niligaw ko...kung saan-saan ako umikot... tapos sa Estrada, sabay turn around ako at liko sa Camachile. Eh alley yun...alanganamang sumunod siya diba...ayun... scary pa man din yun pag gabi. Mga two minutes later, lumabas ako at naglakad pauwi. ISkeyri I swear! But he gave me his number... nung una, sinabi lang niya. Ako nag-nod lang ako at sabi ko "Okay". Napansin niya na hindi ko sinulat so he held the wheel with one hand, and scribbled something on a receipt (from Starbucks...no surprise!) and handed it to me. A Globe line number. Wala namang name niya, idiot! Ayun, may-I-throw ko nga!

I was also checking out Astrology,com and I got this:


Your Rising Sign is Scorpio, don't be hurt if people keep their distance. It's not out of disgust, but out of reverent intimidation. You seem so intense -- it could be your penetrating gaze or the way you seductively lean against the wall -- whether you mean to or not! You're dynamically alluring, and people are inexplicably drawn to you. All this perceived sexiness is fun, but there's a downside to looking like a Scorpio -- you may seem moody and even a little dangerous. Enjoy the mystery factor -- it can be fun to be an enigma!


It is SO not fun to be ministerpreted! It's hard to convince people otherwise...becaue many people do not believe anything beyond what they can see with their eyes.But it's not like I can do anything about it...Oh well!

Moon is in Libra

Your desire for harmonious relationships and surroundings is so strong that you avoid personal confrontations or any expression of intense, unpleasant emotions. You are an idealist who would like to paint the world in pastel colors, and live in peace and harmony with others at all times. You are able to see points of similarity and unity with people who are vastly different from yourself, and befriend many different types of people. You are a considerate and thoughtful friend, and have a real flair for making others feel accepted and appreciated. Inwardly you are often torn with indecision and are much more at odds with yourself than others would ever guess from your smooth, even disposition


Harharhar, me down to every letter. Ah, stars, speak some more! Eto naman...love shit ko daw based on my sign (Venus in Libra):

Those visited by Libra in their House of Love are great romantics, truly idealistic and ever forgiving. They also love a world filled with beauty, so a five-star meal at an idyllic retreat is the way to wow this lover. Talk about foreplay! The mating dance is essential to those with Venus in Libra, appreciating as they do a bit of extravagance in the name of love. The prize for pampering this pet? Someone who is compassionate and there for their lover and who understands the importance of both a physical and mental attraction.

Ahha... physical and mental attraction. One cannot go without the other. Nuh-uh! Idealistic, great (if not hopeless) romantic...Go on, go on! I'm still in the mood to read...Passion naman daw...(Mars in Saggitarius)

If you have Mars in Sagittarius you are most likely to be loads of fun! You have an inner integrity that is backed up by an honest and very integrated expression. You speak your mind clearly and strive to remain true to your idealistic sense of how people can relate to one another. You are adventuresome, and love freedom in all forms. Your active and carefree nature attracts multitudes, your excitement being almost impossible to quell. This type of energy can be contagious and will spread like wildfire. In love, you are in tune with both your spiritual nature, and your very strongly felt animal appetites. You infuse the two, bringing this so called duality together through physical expression. You are curious and expend a lot of your energy through endless discovery. You offer spontaneity to your relationships and are happiest when you find your kindred spirit.

Again. Me in every letter. Weird shit... hwahahaha...physical expression, endless discovery, love all form of freedom... spontaniety...Sige pa! Keep 'em coming!

Eto naman...excerpts (mahaba kasi eh) of me on Healing (Chiron in Taurus):

...you bear a pain of neglect or that what you have is never enough...
At the heart of Taurus is a yearning for security and the pleasure of sensory stimulation: food, physical affection, bodily nourishment. Taurus loves to indulge, but with Chiron in Taurus, you're never quite full; as your stomach can feel empty, so too can your heart. Rather than wallowing in the haze of your hunger for what you lack, Chiron in Taurus encourages you to appreciate what you have. By cherishing gifts you already possess, you can share what you've learned from your pain with others. Give your time to causes dealing with a lack of resources: homelessness, hunger, neglected children, or for those wanting for affection or sensory or material comfort.


Now I know why I have the intense desire to help others. Chiron is the answer (shet ang corny ko! *hik*), let it BE! Harharhar...

Ahha...my Karmic sign!

Trying to find in others what is lacking in yourself often results in pain and disappointment. Somehow you always seem to end up with a partner who doesn't quite understand you, who limits and hinders you. The partner you choose may also be somewhat older or have a conservative outlook on life. As a result you may move from one bad relationship to the next, or stay in one relationship and take the role of martyr -- never realizing your true motivation. If you come to terms with the fact that you may not want to fully connect with another -- out of your own fear of intimacy -- there is potential for growth and understanding that you have the capacity of fulfillment within yourself. Your relationship can be source of suffering or of personal growth -- the decision is yours.

Libra through and through... me to every letter again! Whoa...weird weird weird shit! Asteeeg! Ginagago ata ako ng computer na ito eh! Hwekhekhekhek...

Excerpts from my Rebellion Sign (Uranus in Sagitarrius):

Uranus in Sagittarius is a great combination. Sagittarius is the explorer, always looking to discover new things. With Uranus always trying to change the world, revolutionary proceedings can occur at breakneck pace...
...spurred on by a generosity that is lacking in many other signs...


Hmmm...interesting...Pluto in Libra:

This generation, however, is determined to make all of their partnerships work out. They watch what has worked for previous generations and incorporate it into their own lives, and they see what has failed in the past and try to make working changes. Some of those born while Pluto was in Libra might cast aside the idea of formal marriage in favor of more unconventional approaches to unity. Others, however, may decide that the free-form approach does not work and choose to rely on the more conservative elements that worked for marriage in earlier generations.

Me to every letter. This is a conspiracy! You're kidney! Hwahahaha! Ito pa, Neptune in Sagittarius (Spirituality) excerpts:

...extremely idealistic and farsighted in their dreams...
...very liberal and expansive in outlook, and consequently churches become much more flexible and more eclectic in their approach during your life time. Religions that do not adapt to the broad-minded attitude of your age group simply are unable to attract very much interest and involvement from you...


Korek korek...actually. Even YFC wasn't enough for me. Haaayyy...napagod ako kaka-surf ng mga yan ha! Hwehehehe...but it was worth my while.

Anyway, chili con carne, I gotta go! Early pa ako aalis bukas. I'll decide where to go the moment I step onto Taft. Hihi.


Nyt nyt!


Song of the Moment: I Miss You - Incubus
To quote: I know I'll see you again, whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care...and I miss you!

Random Thought of the Day: Shempre sana makuha ko yung TOR ko by the middle of June para maka-apply na ako sa PRC. Meaning, dapat matapos ko na yung Pedia stuff.

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Ay shet, ang dami! I feel like a materialistic bitch whenever I enumerate them! But since I already am one, here goes: Clinique Happy (or yung imitation nya sa Petit Monde na scent!) kasi naamoy ko siya kanina...shet...I swear! It's addicting! Tapos this dress at Freeway! It's a tube dress with straps, purple ang dominant color (as expected). At Globe shoes I saw at SM North... tsaka yung slippers sa Tribu na orange...kahit Velcro siya...tapos...ah letche...materialistic bitch! Hwahahaha...

Word/s for the Day: "Tired..."

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

He got me a CLIE!?!

I can't believe it! He showed it to me yesterday...and it has a music player...and a headset...and...it's in Japanese! Cool shit! Ang ganda ng resolution, nakakabasa ng pictures with amazing clarity...shet! The resolution is freaking AMAZING! (Obvious bang sobrang amazed ako?) Pwede ko siyang gamitin pang-YM with my cell via IR...pwede ko din daw siyang gawing remote control! Freaky cool shit!

I told him na sobrang maiinggit si Papa sa Clie if ever... siya naman, sobrang excited nang ayusin para madala na daw niya dito at gusto niyang makita yung reaction ni Papa pag nakita niya yung bago kong gadget! Hwekhekhekhek... Actually, sa calculations ko, si Kowiz ang mas maiinggit, being the "gadget maverick" among my siblings. But the best feature...explorer = peyups with my Clie!Hehehehe...sana i-install...Hekhekhek...

My mom's sick. Wawa naman...

Wala akong matinong maisulat ah...

Ay meron pala! Nagtext nanaman siya. Hindi ko lang maintindihan kung anong satisfaction ang nakukuha niya sa pag-text. Oh well... Maganda pa ring neuron exercises ang pag-decipher ng kanyang mga mensahe.

BTW, was at Chez last night. I made him dinner with the food he has stocked up: pancit canton, omelette at toasted bread! Wow...almost purely carbs with some protein and cholesterol thrown in! Hehehehe...ang sarap mag-grocery! Lahat na...meat, veggies, butter, cheeses, bread, yoghurt drinks, milk, cereals, canned stuff... whoa! Umaatake nanaman pagka-control freak ko! Pero shempz, hinay-hinay lang kasi wala pa yung fridge. Sa Saberday pa ata niya kukunin. Which means Monday pa siguro ako pwedeng magwala sa grocery! Harharhar.

Binenta ba naman ako sa Mom niya! Sabi ng mom niya, "Talaga? Tikman ko nga!" Nung nag-reunion sila last weekend, sinabi daw niya sa mom niya na sobrang galing ko daw mag-luto! Heller! Shempre natakot naman ako. Nervous pa naman ako mag-cook for other people. Paano kaya ako magluluto sa birthday niya?!? Shempre kinakabahan ako no! Kapampangan pa man din yung parents niya...so very good cooks! *kaba kaba* Pero he assures me that his mom doesn't cook pasta...so...maybe there is hope yet! Hahahaha...

Anyway, I gotta go wash the dishes muna. Then cook dinner. Mom doesn't feel well and I don't want her to tire herself further by cooking dinner...so it's Moi to the rescue!


Song of the Moment: Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Random Thought of the Day: I lost my umbrella! I left it sa jeep! No! Waaahhh! My beloved Mona Lisa is gone!

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: The Top Slot for August Boards 2003. Mangarap ka...

Word/s for the Day: "Am I safe?"

Monday, May 26, 2003

Now What?

Right... so the opportunity came and we grabbed it. Well, now what? I mean, if that's all there will be to it, then where do we go from here? Oh well.

Wawa naman siya. Mag-isa siya sa apartment ngayon. Sabi ko na nga ba dapat nag-grocery na rin kami nung weekend eh. Tapos dapat bumili na kami ng other stuff for the house. Oh well, there'll be other times.

Argh, f*cking rain is ruining my schedule for the week. And pedia clinic is f*cking up my shcedule even more...causing me to miss my classes for the next five days! Argh! Tama ba naman yun?!?

Hwehehehe, mega-binenta daw niya ako sa Mom niya. Shempre kinabahan naman ako...we have to fix the place by then, paint the wall, put in the decor...set the menu...ooohhh scary!

Sabi niya may surprise daw siya sa akin bukas... shempre hindi ko maisip kung ano! MCPOTD ko daw yun...na makaka-help sa studies ko...and beyond. Hmmm...shempz di ko pa rin maisip (Am I daft?) hehehe...Oh well, what's 24 hours?

Sana tumigil na yung rain. Para hindi na ma-hassle bukas...


Song of the Moment: Rain - Madonna

Random Thought of the Day: Bakit ngayon pa pinili ng Diyos na bumagyo? Bakit ngayon pa na-sched yung Pedia? Bakit hindi pa rin ako pumapasok sa review? Papasa ba ako? (Yan ang random! Hehehe)

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: My license to practice my profession...and somewhere to practice...hehehe!

Word/s for the Day: "Damn Rain"

Thursday, May 22, 2003

Losing Time...

Review began yesterday and already I'm overwhelmed by the workload. Not that anything is new but to cram two years worth of lecture and practical application into two months just isn't neuron- (and eyebag-) friendly! My classes are all day (which is imperative if I am to pass) and that doesn't include self-review sessions (which are absolutely necessary if I am to...well...top the Boards. Not that I know I can but heck, it's worth a shot!) which will probably eat up the rest of my time na hindi kakainin ng tulog o paglamon. No time to train for rowing even! And to think there's an upcoming race in July. Oooh...sacrifices, sacrifices.

Speaking of sacrifices, matagal na akong hindi nagpe-peyups. It's quite a sacrifice on my part, considering how addicted I am to posting. I did post a couple of days ago but of course, it's not the same anymore. Hindi na ako masyadong maka-relate sa mga posters, hindi na ako updated sa chismis at shempz, wala akong masyadong mai-share (I no longer have a life! Harharhar!) sa postings ko. It could be I've outgrown peyups...pero hindi siguro. Maybe I've just gone so long without it that my system isn't used to it anymore. But I doubt I've outgrown peyups...not when I'm THAT addicted. Hwehehehehe...

Another sacrifice is quality time. Nasa office siya same time as I am at review class plus Saturday and Sunday. By the time he gets out of the office, I'm already home and dead tired at that. Not that we don't get tospend time together. He came over last night and had dinner here. But maybe the next few weeks (8 weeks, to be exact) may be a "dry spell" for us since he'd most probably be busy with modifying his current project with the new specs and I'll be...well...buried under books.

Of course we'd still be spending time, especially when we start decorating the apartment. Ang swerte talaga na nakuha namin yung apartment na yun. When I checked for apartments the night prior, hindi pa advertised yun. The next day, I checked again in the afternoon and I saw that apartment. Of course I called agad. And thank God we got it. It's not much but it's accessible from the office and it's pretty secure. Pasok din naman sa budget, kahit paano so I guess it'll do until we find a better place. But for now, it'll be home.

His home, anyway. It's really funny how my barkada reacted when I met up with them for our regular coffee-chika sessions and I was gushing about how we found this cute apartment and I was showing them floorplans and rough interior-decor sketches I made. They thought I'd be moving in with him! It was quite amusing how they were (blushingly) explaining that they got together half an hour earlier to discuss my impenind "live-in" situation. Sabi nila, I was a little unorthodox (little daw o! Hwehehehe) but this they did not expect from me.

I guess they're right...this I cannot do yet. I mean...heller?!? Live in?!? When I don't even have an income of my own yet. Of course I'm not about to depend on him for MY expenses. Heller?!? That won't be quite fair.

But I am excited to start decorating the house, habang hindi pa masyadong mabigat yung workload at medyo flexible pa ang scheduling ng lectures at exams. Besides, I might lose steam and those drawings may never come to life.

I was at Montalban today for the last of my surveying activities. Ang init sobra! Para akong tinutusta, although I was very productive. I surveyed twice as much as the other group, which had double the manpower. I'm quite tired though.

His family is coming home frm Germany tonight and he's off to the airport to pick them up. Buti naman at masusundo niya sila this time. Nahuli kasi siya nung aalis na sila so hindi siya naka-bye bye man lang.

One of my exes is still texting me, though his motives are unclear. Despite that, it's a bit unsettling when I ponder upon the reasons why he would even want to text still, let alone texting messages with such content. Oh well.

Eniwei, chili con carne, I'm off to Taft to get dinner. Tinatamad na ako magluto ng dinner at mas gugustuhin kong matulog, kung hindi lang nagyayaya yugn mga kapatid ko na kumain sa labas. Shempre hindi ako makatanggi no!

Hindi ko na masyadong nakakausap si John. Nakaka-guilty na nga minsan eh kaso madalas tumatawag when I'm talking to him. And sometimes, may gumamagamit lang kasi lagi ng phone. No, make that...MOST of the time may gumagamit ng phone. Hindi ko na sila makamusta ni Chey, though I hope they're okay.

Anyway, Manila Bay, I gotta go. My books await my eyes to glance upon them so that the visual stimuli may be transported to my brain and decoded into simple bits of memory with which to overload my poor, outnumbered neurons. Oh mercy! Harharhar!

Laters!


Song of the Moment: You Live Only Twice - Coldplay

Random Thought of the Day: There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who count and those who don't.

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: A car. I swear, I need a car. Para hindi ako ma-late sa klase... at para maka-drive by shooting ako...hardiharhar!

Word/s for the Day: "Whatever!"

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Considering Alternate Career

My creative juices are flowing! My hands are itching to decorate the interior of his apartment. And it's quite a challenge too! It's an attic about 30 square meters in area with a roof that's about 6 feet high sloping unevenly to 1 foot high towards the long side. The floor area has two bedrooms, one with a door and one without. Its only source of ventilation is the huge window that opens to a view of the pool. Yes, there is a pool. Unfortunately, it belongs to the family.

Anyway, I have lots of ideas for the place and I hope I can find the time to make them REAL! Review starts tomorrow and I don't know if I will still have time for all the things I want to do.

I hope I do.

Ciao!


Song of the Moment: Sleep All Day

Random Thought of the Day: Why can't I just practice without a license?

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Sa Wakas, ang album ng Sugarfree. Yun pa rin.

Word/s for the Day: "Ours!"
WE GOT IT!!!

We found this cute attic place sa Katipunan Extension. It's really cute. Medyo low yung ceiling for him pero oks lang. It would work well with the interior concept that I have. PEYUPS THEME! O diba? A house of peyups! Hehehe...

Anyway, we're both excited to clean up the place and start decorating. But for now...Ortho muna!

Laters!

Sunday, May 18, 2003

Ultimate Objective Achieved. Stand By for Updates!

Despite some minor glitches, mission has been completed. Shempre pinilosopo ko muna sila, binigyan ng maraming blank stares at kung anik anik pa. Pero oks na. No need to lie low. Hekhekhek.

At least now I know that we can hang out at home all we want. Mas mabuti pa daw yun...straight from the horse's mouth. Sabi nga ni Mama, "He's welcome naman eh. Hindi naman antipatiko ang dating nya. Kakausapin ko naman siya no. Eh kung si ***** nga na naiinis ako, kinakausap ko pa rin eh." Nung kinuwento ko to kay Ramil, sobrang tawa siya... well, it doesn't change the fact that we would have to work on the communication aspect. But heck...that'll be child's play!

Well, anyway. No need to lie low. At may nakuha akong blackmail material...again, straight from the horse's mouth. I quote: "We're not telling you what to do. You're already of age..."

Ahhah! Narinig ko rin sa kanila! Dapat pala nirecord ko yun at pwede ko i-playback pag kailangan ko ng back-up sa "negotiation". Hwahahaha!

But it still doesn't make sense. They say they don't want to tell me what to do coz I'm already "of age"...but they still treat me like a child. Weird shit.

Anyway, in response to my RTOTD (the one in green...hehe), Ramil apparently had a RTOTD along the same lines. My fascination is with Lady Deathstrike's hymen...and his is with Wolverine's foreskin. Seriously! Hwehehehe... we were discussing it last night on the way home. It's just funny how little things like that can grow into an hour-long debate of how to circumcise a mutant...hwehehehe! But that's not to say that our sexual preference may be a bit...err...skewed. We just happened to take their mutant powers beyond the film and applied it to everyday life. Which eventually brought me to the musings along these lines: if a woman is capable of regenerating her hymen everytime, won't sex hurt everytime? And won't it be so much more fun for the guy coz he'll be fucking a virgin everytime? Pero hindi ba kawawa naman yung girl nun? Masakit na lang everytime when her partner gets the longer end of the stick, ergo she gets pain while he gets pleasure. But then again that would work if the set-up were more S&M than actual wife-to-husband copulation i.e. making love. WHATEVER! Hmmm...the shit gets weirder and weirder. Blame caffeine. or the lack of nitrogenous wastes in my system. (That's because I haven't been eating meat lately... parang ang hirap nguyain...)

Heniwei, chili con carne, hindi pa rin ako tapos mag-review. I can't find my reviewer and I am so lost without it! Ahuhuhu...but then again basic anatomy and kinesiology needs no syllabus. Maybe tatapusin ko na lang sila tapos saka ko na poproblemahin yung make-up kosa Montalban on Thursday. At yung CTS-pedia make-ups ko. Tapos ang tagal pa nung TOR. Baka nga hindi pa nila prinocess eh. Sasakalin ko sila everloo! Kailangan ko yunto apply for the Boards! I swear, pag ako hindi nakapag-Boards dahil dun... I will keeeeeeeeeeeell them!

Hay...miss ko na mag-peyups! Pero oks lang. I need to let go of something so that I may grasp another in my hands. Diba diba?!?

I still have not completely absorbed the fact that we need not lie low anymore. Whoa... sometimes it's too good that it's hard to believe it's true! But it is true. But it does pile on more pressure on us both. We shouldn't fight...well, we haven't anyway but sooner or later, in one form or another we might. And, well, as my mom so loves to put it, we should "behave"... whatever that means! I personally interpret that as don't do anything you wouldn't be caught dead doing if your life depended on it. Hmmm... and the things that fall under that category (at least for me) are those that I don't think I'll be able to do until about a couple of years has elapsed. Hwehehehe...

Oh hell. Maybe I should go study for a while. Au revoir!


Song of the Moment: Bring Me To Life - Evanescence

Random Thought of the Day: Is it that difficult to behave?!? Why do they make it sound like it's as hard as walking on hot coals?

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Sa Wakas, ang album ng Sugarfree. Saka na Clie! Hwehehehe...

Word/s for the Day: "Eventually"

Saturday, May 17, 2003

The Blog is fucked up...

So kindly ignore the entry down below....

As I was saying, yesterday was a very nice day... despite the shit that happened last night. We went to find the apartments...the one we did find was like...let's just say, I wouldn't live there even if it was 1,000 a month. Hahaha...

Then we scrounged around Recto for my books. Ramil found this hidden store...where I found two of my books...hardbound, in good condition and FUCKING CHEAP!!! Dinemolish na pala yung ibang stores so medyo limited na yugn choices pero ok naman. I managed to get six books for three thousand bucks: among them Braddom, De Lisa and Guyton... hardbound lahat!

I just wish they could be a bit "warmer"... naiinis ako kahapon. Sa sobrang frustration ko, naiiyak ako habang nanonood ng Matrix! Hello! Kainis ever!

Eniwei chili con carne, I want to get out of here... pero kailangan ko ata samahan sila Mama na ipaayos yung phone ni Kowiz. Nagpapasama na nga lang, nagpapahintay pa. Nainis na nga ako eh. Sinabi ko tuloy na maging definite sa time na aalis para makaplano akong araw ko. Napaka- inconsiderate. Nasanay ata na lagi akong at her disposal.

Hah...with the way she's been acting...ASA PA! Hmf!


Song of the Moment: The Silent Man - Dream Theater

Random Thought of the Day: Pag nagpapasama ka, maging punctual ka. Kahit anak LANG ako, you're still asking me a favor...and even MY time is valuable.

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Apartment. NOW!

Word/s for the Day: Letche!
Come to think of it...it was a nice day!



Song of the Moment: Bitch - Meredith Brooks

Random Thought of the Day: Masama ba talaga sumagot sa magulang?

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: A .45 Browning pistol. Don't ask why. If you do, I'm gonna have to test-fire it on you. Harharhar...

posted by Angal at

Must they be so HOSTILE?!?

Seriously?!?! Can they not act like human beings? Must they be cold, manner-less, inhuman creatures?!? Really...Nakakasira ng mood! If he leaves me because of this, they will never hear the end of this. Ever.

Song of the Moment: Bitch - Meredith Brooks

Random Thought of the Day: Masama ba talaga sumagot sa magulang?

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: A .45 Browning pistol. Don't ask why. If you do, I'm gonna have to test-fire it on you. Harharhar...

Friday, May 16, 2003

Peyups Withdrawal Syndrome - the symptoms kick in...

It's been almost a whole week since I last logged into peyups. I can't even access it from my PC to lurk! Argh...although it was my idea (or shall I say, I was coerced into agreeing to it) to have myself "blocked" from peyups so that I can study (and he was such an angel to accomplish that for me, haha!) for the Boards.

I was in Montalban today. It was so damn hot and I was minutes away from heat stroke when I got an ice-cold soda. Never mind avoiding soda! It was hot and it was liquid. COLD LIQUID! And when I got back to the Center, I downed three cans of fruit juice while encoding the data we had gathered that day.

And of course, I was thinking of how many posts I could put into peyups just ranting about the heat, the multitude of PWD's waiting to be discovered, the sheer poverty of the people in that town...I could go on and on. Then I remembered: no peyups. How sad! Huwaaaahhh!

Anyway, we saw X-Men 2 and I think it was better than the first movie. That girl similar to Logan really caught my eye. I don't think I got her name...I was too fascinated by five adamantium (did I spell it right? And I call myself an X-Men lover...how pathetic!) fingernails and the oh-so-quick recovery from multiple stab wounds to the chest that could have collapsed both lungs and probably pierced the heart as well. Amazing! Ang cool siguro if I could have that ability- to heal quickly. Whoa baby! Whack me with that axe one more time! It ain't gonna hurt shit...Hwahahahahaha!

My dad got a Nokia 6610! Inggit ako...may radio kasi yun eh. Ako wala! Huhuhu... I can't wait to get my camera headset so I can have tons of wallpapers to choose from. Hekhekhek...

Planning to go to Recto tomorrow to get the rest of the books I need for review and then go check out the apartments. I had set a movie date with Eric and Rache kaso shempre, nagpaka- KJ nanaman yung Nanay ko at hindi ako pinayagan! Peyups thing daw... and she doesn't trust me with "peyups things" anymore. WTF? Hindi naman ibig sabihin lahat ng peyups people ay tulad ni..ni...ah basta! She's old enough to know (and she did take up Philo in UP Diliman years before!) that she was making a (very) hasty generalization about peyups people! HIndi lahat ng taga-peyups ay tulad ni...ni... basta! Hindi lahat ng tao sa peyups ay uber-dense, uber-manhid at uber-hirap umintindi! *rolls eyes*

Hweniwei, miss na miss ko na mag-peyups! I am anticipating August kasi saka pa lang ako makakapag-peyups! But of course, I also dread it kasi Boards na yun...and I haven't even finished 1% of the stuff needed!

Laters...


Song of the Moment: Mariposa - Sugarfree
To quote from the absolutely wonderful song: "Di mo lang alam, inaasam ang panahong makapiling ka sa una't huling pagkakataon"

Random Thought of the Day: That girl with the same mutation as Logan, she heals quick right? So does that mean she will forever be a physiologic virgin? I mean, after her hymen gets torn after intercourse, it repairs almost instantly. Ouch...hindi kaya ang sakit nun? Pero sobrang saya naman nun for the guy no? Hwahahaha...just a thought!

Word/s for the Day: Weird Shit!

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Sa Wakas - Sugarfree's album. Pag nakuha ko yun, pati ako masasabi ko nang "Sa wakas!" with matching sigh of relief! Harharhar!

Kaya ko kaya maging ovo-lacto-vegetarian? Masyado pa namang masarap kumain...baka mamatay ako sa gutom nun! Harharhar! For health reasons naman eh... hindi lang pautot. It's just that...shet! Pagkain yun! I-deprive mo na ako ng kahit ano wag lang pagkain (at phone at peyups at...at... LOL)

Anyway, laters! Sleep muna!

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

MY Mission Accomplished!

I called up all the apartments today and we have three (or five, kung kasama yung sa Visayas Ave) potential apartments. Mabuti na rin na makahanap na siya ng sarili niyang place. Better that way kesa naman nasa lab siya at namomoroblema. At least kung apartment, andun lang yun. Besides, that way hindi na kailangang magpalaba kasi pwede naman sa bahay. Hindi na kailangan bumili ng food. Pwede na magluto ng meals...pwede pa magbaon! O hah! Hahaha...

In some deep primitive level, naiinggit ako sa kanya na nakahiwalay na siya sa pamilya niya. Nakakapagod na rin kasi minsan dito. Oo masaya silang kasama but they still treat me like a child. Alam mo, if only my parents can get one principle in their head, JUST ONE, okay na lahat ng problema ko. Hindi yata nila maintidihan na matanda na ako! It's like living alone (or apart) is a last-ditch effort to prove my adulthood and to remind them that I have been living my own life since I was 13.

Speaking of last-ditch, could the latest developments have been a last-ditch something? If he was referring to himself, could it have been a last-ditch effort to have me look beyond all the harsh words he has said and all the things he has done (and all that he didn't do) and see his true feelings? But after all that, I don't think so! Not after everything...his harsh words, his...errr... inappropriate messages. If he was referring to my present love, could it be a last-ditch effort at sabotage? Well, it's a botched attempt at that. I know my love cannot and will not do to me what ex did. He doesn't even have a history of that! And if he was referring to me... Eh ano ngayon? Like I said, the FUCK I care!

Oh shit... It's May 15. The month is half-done and I have barely finished one chapter of the book that I'm reading! I swear, I am giving myself until tonight to finish Snell! Maybe I should ignore the household and the rest of the world for the next week or so. Just so I can finish Snell and Brunnstrom at the very least.

Shit...and I still have to buy my books! Damn...

Oh well..laters!


Song of the Moment: Not This Time - Cultured Pearls

Random Thought of the Day: Matatapos ko ang review. And I will ace that exam...I will I will!

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Sa Wakas, ang album ng Sugarfree. Sabi ko na nga ba dapat binili ko na to dati pa eh!

Anyway, kaya ko to. I know so. Masunod ko lang sana ng time table ko. And having Ramil block peyups from my PC was a good idea. The temptation can get as strong as it can but I'd be helpless anyway! Oh Joy! Harharhar. It helps...since sobrang tinatamad na ako lagi. Half of May has passed me by with no developments and no improvements. Jeez! At the rate I am going, I'll probably fail the Boards and have to retake it in February. How sad. But of course I won't let that happen.

And have someone smirk at my failure. Hah! Over my cold, limp dead body! But of course, whether I pass the Boards or not, this someone might as well pull over in front of my house and shoot me down. Or abduct me from review class, tear me apart limb from limb and throw my remains into a ditch or some forsaken river.

With someone THAT sick... anything's possible...

I'm not sure I want to live here anymore...hahaha!


Word/s for the Day: "If ever..."
Excalibur Strikes Again!

Hindi ko alam kung anong gusto niyang ipahiwatig...I swear! I am scared and angry and I feel pity for him all at the same time. Ano nanaman bang drama yun? Inatake kaya ng kasentihan dahil May na? Is it a threat against my present love? Or is it another threat? I am so sick and tired of getting these messages. To put it bluntly, the FUCK I care...

Anyway, I'm glad things turned out for the better para sa aking dear friend. I'm glad hindi na siya magwoworry...till next month anyway. Harharhar. I learned a whole lot of new information from a professional so that should be good for storage and for use in future endeavors. At least may pupuntahan na ako next month if ever...

Anyway, we're checking out two apartments in the QC area this weekend, if ever. Sana suitable yung location at sana hindi ma-hassle puntahan.

Shit, May is half-gone at hindi pa ako nag-aaral! I must be totally nuts!


Song of the Moment: In The Throes of Denial - Sybarit

Random Thought of the Day: May is half-gone and I have barely finished a chapter for review. Am I crazy? Overconfident? Or plain lazy?

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Sony Clie pa rin. Walang kamatayan! Harharhar...

Oh...and complete freedom to exercise my independence. BTW, he was here last night and he had dinner here. It's just like the way Kaiz is with Jen. It's too good to be true and I dare not hope for fear of being crushed.

Thursday, May 08, 2003

I worry a lot...

Kaiz's cap got snatched this afternoon but he caught the guy and he got his cap back. The two accomplices...hindi nakaporma. Sinipa lang daw ni Kaiz. He's unharmed but full of scratches. I'm just thankful he wasn't stabbed. I think the attackers meant to stab my brother. Maybe they got stunned that he fought back. I think they never expected him to fight back, let alone get his cap back.I'm just afraid that the attackers will come back for him. Maybe stab him or shoot him point blank. I'm really scared for him.

Song of the Moment: Unwell - Matchbox 20

Random Thought of the Day: My brother is so strong but what can he do against a gun?

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Sony Clie pa rin. Walang kamatayan! Harharhar...

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

It really could be somewhat better...

I told my dad and my sibs that he'll be joining us on Saturday at 8 Waves. After all, he lives a few minutes from the place, I might as well have him over. Besides, Jen's gonna be with us so why can't he be? Hehehe... My mom is the next victim of my powers of persuasion. I KNOW I will convince her that it isn't a big deal... Indeed, it ain't!

Shit, I haven't started studying yet. I have finished one chapter of Human Anatomy but that's it! Then I still have to do a paper for my last patient. If I don't submit it tomorrow, I am fucking screwed (isn't that redundant?)! Oh well, I will find time to do that...maybe wake up at 5am later and do the paper.

Ngayon ko lang na-realize na somber ang mood ng posts ko lately. Hindi na patawa, hindi makulit tulad ng mga nauna. Masyado ata akong stressed eh. Siguro worried lang talaga ako sa Boards. Natatakot ako kaya prine-pressure ko ang sarili ko. My dad expects me to top. Ramil also wants me to top and he's encouraging me every day to study study study. Nung nagpunta pa ako sa POC para magpapirma ng clearance, lalo akong kinabahan. The head PT remembers my name. Not only that, my FULL name! Jeez. To think na August 2002 pa ako dun! And before I left, he said, "Aabangan ko pangalan mo sa diyaryo ha." Holy shit... nakakatakot!

Anyway, isa pang kinaka-worry ko is the possibility of me losing time for him. My classes are 8am to 3pm. After that, shempre self-review pa. Gym din siguro plus chores sa bahay. Nagu-guilty ako sa possibility na yun. Siya pa naman, gusto niyang nakikita ako araw-araw, which is so okay with me. Problema, nasa office siya frm 8 to 5 tapos ang layo ko pa. Ayoko namang mapagod siya at ma-stress dahil sa akin. Travelling from QC to Manila is living hell due to traffic at ayaw na ayaw pa naman niyang maramihang sakay...I'll work something out.

Heniwei, chili con carne. My new phone is good for Internet browsing and for YM. Nakaka-aliw. Tsaka love ko yung ringtone ko ngayon kaya enjoy ako sa phone ko. I can't wait to get a data cable and a camera headset. Gagawin kong wallpaper yung picture namin! At gagamitin kong background ng folders ko yung pics! Hwahahahaha!

I guess I gotta hit the sack. Dapat fully functional ang utak ko mamayang alas-singko para magawa ko nang mabilis yung paper ko. May home program pa pala yun. I still have to settle the issue of that lost IE. Hindi ko namang kasalanang hindi nila natanggap sa Nepal eh. Besides, I can't find the eval. Not my fault anymore!

I gotta sleep. Laters!


Song of the Moment: Comfort in Your Strangeness - Cynthia Alexander

Random Thought of the Day: Saan magandang kumuha ng apartment? Possessive ba ako? Masama ba yun? Hindi naman ako selosa pero possessive ako...

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Sony Clie pa rin, dammit!

...and legality, as always. And to shop for his clothes and accessories. And to live happily until the end of our lifetimes! Lolz... abuso na yan!

Monday, May 05, 2003

Phase I Complete, Phase II initiating...

On the way to legality...yun lang ang masasabi ko. I've told my dad that there's someone new in my life...well, sort of. Long story but to sumit up: we're getting there.

Song of the Moment: Perfect Day- U2

Random Thought of the Day: I can justify it. So sue me!

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Sony Clie

Saturday, May 03, 2003

EUREKA!

Now I know why I don't believe in courtship...after years of trying to get to the root of this whole I-don't-believe-in-courtship-so-we-might-as-well-get-it-on mentality, I finally got it. And it's so f*cking simple that I can't believe I never thought of it years ago!

The reason I don't believe in courtship is because I easily get bored. And so I want to milk the whole getting-to-know-you shebang for every ounce of mystery and excitement it can offer. Not to say, of course, na porque magkakilala na kami totally ay mabo-bore ako to death. It just means that I want to extend the excitement a whole lot longer! Harharhar...

Getting to matters of Boards: hindi pa ako nakaka-enrol! Pero bukas mage-enrol na talaga ako...hopefully Batch 7 ako. Ayoko ng night classes... no time for Baby... hihi...

At hindi pa ako nagse-self study! Oh no! I am so dead! Four days into May and I have not even started yet! Oh no! I am so freaking dead! Huwaaaah! Starting Monday, I will be hanging out at the library at doon ako mag-aaral. Walang peyups, walang YM. Wala wala wala! Sana naman by that time, makaka-concentrate na ako at makakasimula! Kailangan ko mag-top! Gusto ko mag-top sa Boards! Argh! Kaya nga pinalitan ko na yung sig ko sa Peyups and hopefully ay mapanindigan ko...

Isa pa palang problema: probie ako sa bahay! Nakakainis! Hello! Ang daya talaga! Baket ako minomonitor? Kamoni-monitor ba naman ang buhay ko? Bakit? Ako ba ang kinailangang kausapin ang profs dahil sa uniform violation? Ako ba ang bumagsak sa mga subjects ko at kinailangan kausapin yung mga teachers ko? Ako ba ang kinailangan mag-summer classes? Nag-removals na ako pero NEVER pa akong nagsummer! Ako ba ang madalas na gabihin sa labas at hindi tumatawag?!? Hello! Minsan na nga lang ako lumabas, napaka-controlled pa. Napaka-repressed pa! Minsan na nga lang ako gabihin, mega-sermon pa! Pero kung si utol yan, wala lang. Konting sermon and he can do it again! UNFAIR! Di ba nila maintindihan na I had a life and I still do and that I need to go on living it?!?

Nakakinis kasi..napaka-unfair! I have been living my own life since high school at masyadong nakakagulat at nakakapanibago na ngayon sila maghihigpit. Konting sabi ko lang na lalabas ako, para na silang pulis kung magtanong. Tapos napaka-paranoid sa mga guys na kasama ko. Hello! Unang una, hindi lahat ng lalaki ay tulad ni...ni...ah basta...hindi lahat ng lalaki ay dense at hirap umintindi! Pangalawa, hindi porke't lalaki ang kasama ko ay potential stalker ko na sila. Wag naman sana i-lump together lahat ng guys na kasama ko into one category. A rotten apple in the barrel doesn't mean that the whole barrel is rotten! Pangatlo at pinaka-importante: HINDI NA AKO BATA! What part of that simple four-word sentence don't they understand?

Letche...

Anyway, sabi naman ni Ramil na baka namimiss lang daw ako ng parents ko kaya sila naghihigpit. I'm sorry. I just don't buy that crap. Besides, the more they do this to me, the more they treat me like a child...the more I want to prove to them that I'm not. Sure, I'd like to see what they'd do if I just ran away from home, got a job and a place of my own. I wonder if that would be enough to shake them awake.

Pero helpless pa kasi ako as of now eh. Nakakainis... I guess I'd just have to make do with the time I can spend outside the house and prepare for my eventual life away from them.

Maybe time is all I need to make them realize that I am no longer a child...


Song of the Moment: Satellite - David Matthews Band

Random Thought of the Day: How do I make my parents realize that I am no longer a child without breaking their hearts and our bonds?

This, I really have to figure out soon. For my sanity's sake...

Most Coveted Possession of the Day: Age- appropriate independence

and legality! Heheheh...Oh and this insanely simple but really cute silver and maroon watch at Swatch! I swear! Ang cute nya in its simplicity! Oh hell...

BTW, I want to go shopping for his clothes. Lots and lots and lots of clothes! And shoes! Nae-excite naman ako! Ang saya saya nun! I'd buy all those polos and those shirts and the slacks and that pair of shoes I saw at Mendrez...gwapo shet! Hehehe... Tapos mga pambahay na shorts and shirts, boxers, slippers, socks. Tapos toiletries, sheets, pillowcases, doormats, pamunas sa fridge...

Control freak ba? Harharhar...

We'll also be checking out an apartment in Eli's area. But it's not for me. It's for him. Nae-excite na din ako for that. Bakit...kasi....wala lang...exciting lang na magluto for him. Para healthy yung food niya at hindi puro take-out shit... kaya ang usapan is that magluluto kami ng maraming food once a week tapos if-freeze na lang niya. Microwave as needed. Or scoop into lalagyan ng baon as appropriate. Heehee... Shempre kasama na yung pag-grocery namin ng supplies niya for the week and stuff like that... tapos pag-organize ng kitchen, ng food...gosh...saya!

Well anyway, no more Peyups for me. Time to start studying for the Boards...I have to top it. (ambisyosa!)

Libre naman mangarap diba? Unfortunately, ang review at books, may bayad...damn...

Laters!